15 Essential Questions to Ask Your New Partner

Whether it's shyness, lack of interest, or desire to maintain romantic secrecy, many couples do not ask each other essential questions that can hel...
couple on a beach

Whether it's shyness, lack of interest, or desire to maintain romantic secrecy, many couples do not ask each other essential questions that can help build the foundations of a stable relationship. It is especially visible today when we feel most connected online, yet disconnected from each other.

It can be difficult to keep secrets from your partner, and not discussing serious topics can lead to disappointment in the future. Ask your partner these 15 questions before your relationship becomes the real deal so that secrets won't cost you happiness in the future. 

1. How does your family deal with issues? 

This question will help you to understand whether your partner grew up in a family that resolves problems quietly or heatedly. In other words, you will probably find out how he or she solves problems. 

2. What do you think about having children in the future?

Before entering a serious relationship, couples should honestly discuss whether they want children, how many children they would like to have, and at what point they would like to have them. Again, it only serves to prepare you for the moment when you decide to have or not to have children.

3. Do the experiences with your exes make you reflect on today’s actions?

People are reluctant to talk about their past and may retroactively feel jealous or inclined to blame one another. Research has shown that people who have been in many serious relationships are prone to divorce and have a lower quality of life. So, the only way partners can deal with this is to accept that they had a life before becoming a couple. 

4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate the holidays, if at all? 

Religious issues also need to be addressed as soon as possible. If you’re okay with the fact that your partner wants to practice their religion while you aren’t religious at all, that’s entirely up to you. 

Moreover, decide how you want to celebrate religious holidays to avoid misunderstandings later.

5. Is my debt your debt? Will you be willing to get me out of financial trouble? 

It is essential to know how your partner feels about financial independence and whether he or she expects you to keep your money separate. If you have any debts or long-term financial obligations, say it to your partner immediately. 

6. How much money would you be willing to spend on your car, furniture, shoes, etc.? 

Couples should be synchronized when it comes to spending money on possessions. Or, at least, you should be honest about your shopping habits. Otherwise, the partner might end up disappointed, or you might get into an unnecessary fight. 

7. Can you handle the fact that I will spend time without you? 

One of the essential questions that little people ask one another is about spending time together. Many people hope to retain some degree of autonomy in their lives while building a relationship. 

However, others prefer to spend every minute with their significant other. It is necessary to define what privacy means and to talk about hobbies and friends, but also about the time when one partner will leave the other to enjoy some “me time.”

8. Do you like my parents? 

Although not everyone can get along with anyone, you should know if your partner dislikes your parents. If they don’t, it will be easier to manage a bad relationship with them. Problems arise when you don’t even discuss it and can become an enormous burden in the long run. 

9. How important is sex to you? 

Couples today expect their partner to have a strong sexual desire continuously. It is necessary to define what an individual loves about sex and how often they would like to have it. 

Also, it is crucial to discuss what sex means to partners, and if there are disagreements, couples should make a compromise so you can both be happy. For example, if one partner wants more sex because he or she enjoys it and the other does it just to please them, you should talk about it. 

10. What kind of contraception do you prefer? 

Sexual topics, such as contraceptives, should be discussed very quickly. If your partner prefers condoms and you want her to be on the pill, discuss your options so you can avoid any dicey situations. 

11. Is watching porn okay? 

Another essential question is about pornography. If you’re okay with our partner to watch it, or you’d like to watch it together, that’s fine. However, if you think it can destroy your sex life, you must bring up that topic before your relationship becomes serious. The pornography issue is often left unresolved because partners are afraid to talk openly about it. 

12. What is, by all means, unforgivable? 

Are you a jealous person by nature? Does it bother you when your partner looks at other people simply because he or she can’t look anywhere else?

Your answer depends on your past relationships and the way you were brought up. Nonetheless, if you’ve been cheated on in the past and you find it unforgivable, say that to your partner. It’s only because some people are ready to forgive anything while others aren’t as open to such experiences.

13. When it comes to me, what do you admire and what, if anything, gets on your nerves? 

Do you think you can tolerate the things that annoy you forever? Learn about what your partner admires and what they hate about you so you can transform some of your bad habits for them. For a relationship to survive, you need to upgrade the initial 'click' that brought you together. 

14. What do you procrastinate on the most?

This question serves as proof to know how grounded your partner is. We all procrastinate on something. However, if your significant other likes to procrastinate on things you find important, make sure to know what those are as soon as possible.

15. Where do you see us in 10 years? 

Consider answering this question while solving an ongoing problem. It’s when you feel most vulnerable, and the partner will answer sincerely. It is essential to know the answer to this question. If you feel like your partner is the perfect person to spend your life with, he or she might disappoint you with their response. So, better to know it sooner than later.

Which Questions Would You Choose for Your New Partner?

You may find it embarrassing to ask at first, but it’s crucial to ask the questions you want to know the answer to at the beginning of your relationship. Once you know the answers, you will know whether or not you can stay in that kind of relationship.

For those who are in a relationship already, select a few questions and pass them on to your partner, and vice versa. Some questions will reveal what you didn’t know about your partner, while some may shock you.


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