Have you ever felt that the last talk on serious topics with your partner went worse than you planned? Maybe it's because you chose the wrong time, and perhaps your approach was inadequate for the type of conversation.
Relationships have benefits on our mental well-being, so it’s crucial you know how to talk appropriately.
Males are mostly straightforward, but once you need to talk to them about serious topics, they’ll find millions of other reasons to avoid talking. They are more stressed than women when discussing a topic such as sex, money, and family.
Women, on the other hand, feel the need to resolve essential issues but often keep coming back to the problems that they fixed in the past.
Ignoring conversations on important topics can lead to problems of epic proportions and eventually destroy the relationship. So if you want to talk about serious topics, you better learn how to do a proper setup for the conversation to be fruitful.
Think Before You Speak
You may think that you are dedicated to the conversation. However, telling everything that’s on your mind can hurt the feelings of others. Learn how to contemplate what you’re going to say. First, you need to know what you want to communicate. Don't just say something that annoys your partner, but instead slowly and clearly explain what you're having trouble with.
Men and women deal with problems differently. If you’re a woman, you might feel neglected for your partner’s outgoing nature, but if you dodge the issue, or hurry with your furious reactions, you will get into an unnecessary fight.
Not only women have to deal with instant fits of rage. Men have them, as well. Before you decide to talk about important issues, such as money, make sure you tame your temper and formulate sentences in your head before speaking out.
Choose the Right Time
Try not to start sensitive topics after a partner has had a terrible day. If one of you feels stressed, you’ll instantly act overly defensive, and it’s a recipe for disaster. Instead, choose the day when you’re both relaxed.
While women prefer to talk in the morning, it is more convenient for men to talk at dinner. Also, don't just think about your schedule. Ask if you could work out something with your partner and when it would work best for them to talk.
Use the Word “Me” or “I” Instead of “You”
Declaring that it’s your partner’s fault that you feel miserable makes sense if you want to get all the frustration out of you. However, blaming the other for everything doesn’t help. Focus on showing him or her how you feel and give them time to understand.
Say something like, “When you leave a towel on the bathroom floor, I feel like a maid when I have to pick it up after you.” Do not, by any chance, start with a statement like “You are lazy like everyone in your family!”
In case you feel anxious or nervous, you need to make it clear, but be aware of the emotions you’re dealing with. They can often cause the blame shift, even though it was only half of your partner’s fault.
If You Solved the Problem, Don’t Mention It Again
If you keep coming back to the same problem, it can cause quite a stir. Moreover, you can potentially make your partner stressed out since the issue was already solved. If you keep coming back to this topic or use something he or she has told you against them, they will not be open to talking anymore.
Promise yourself that once you resolve an issue, you will no longer come back to it in every conversation. It can only cause further quarrels.
Give the Other a Chance to Think Through About What You Said
Although sometimes you lack time to wait for the other to contemplate, make sure to say it. If you want to try out new sex positions, and your partner disagrees, you can go with “I'm not going to talk about it all the time. Take the time to think about it, and we’ll end the discussion later.”
When you want a solution, you have to give your partner time to think about what you told him or her. Give them time to deal with it and come up with an answer together. Be patient and never rush solutions to serious problems.
Take a Break If You’re Angry
Don't hesitate to take a break if you start yelling, or worse, if you start insulting each other. Take a walk or chill out for 20 minutes until you both have calmed down.
Remember: If your significant other avoids talking all the time, it means something. He or she probably wants the relationship to remain as is and doesn’t want to resolve the potential issues you might have.
If you intend to take your relationship to another level, then the partner's refusal to talk when angry is helping the relationship. Nonetheless, make sure to take a break and solve your problems cool-headed.
How Do You Talk to Your Partner About Serious Topics?
Every couple has to go through serious topics eventually. Depending on how you handle them, they either break or make the relationship. Learning how to communicate clearly can make you happier and more content in your relationship, as well as improve your and your partner’s behavior towards one another.